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Ratings and Book Reviews ()

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4.1 out of 5
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  • Literary Titan

    I was truly touched by this memoir by Diane Pomerantz. Her honesty and candor, as well as her shard recollection of her life’s experiences is truly inspiring and, as a person interested in human relationships, I found this book speaking to my soul. Diane Pomerantz writes as if in conversation. Perhaps this comes from her decades of work as a child psychologist. The writing has a conversational flow and is emotional without being overly flowery or expressive. She states later in the book that writing is very therapeutic for her and this is evident to the reader. This is a memoir about a life full of challenging experiences to which many people can relate but also moments that are so unique to her story. The author takes us through her years as a married person and into her later years and up to the present. We experience her meeting her husband. He is a physician and she is a child psychologist. They build a life together, including many issues with fertility and adoption. We experience their early years of marriage, including intense difficulties with fertility and adoption. There are many heartbreaking incidents like when the young couple adopts a baby, names him, and brings him home only to find out that the birth mother has changed her mind. It is inspiring how the author faces these challenges, she is rocked to the core but also finds a way to move forward. It’s beautiful how she got both of her children. I loved this part of the story. It made me laugh when she said her daughter liked her new brother for the first few weeks but was then ready to send him back! My son said similar things about his baby brother in the beginning, so this made me smile. As the years go on, we watch her husband’s true personality come to forefront. It is truly disturbing to watch this unfold. She sees certain things in the beginning that are red flags but continues raising her children with him and even working together. There is a story about how she and Charles co-treat a young woman for anxiety and Pomerantz is alarmed by his dismissive response to the patient. Through the author’s struggles with illness she discovers more and more truths about her husband. It was alarming to read the breakdown of their partnership and his actions and state of mind. Her descriptions were so alarming at times, yet I believed every detail. There is a lot of difficulty, trauma, and heartbreak in this book, but it all comes around to a positive ending and left me feeling like I was more aware in my own marriage and relationships. I like that she is able to move forward without anger, even though she doesn’t have to forgive. I really enjoyed this book. The writing style was so comfortable and easy to read. The authors candor about her life are refreshing in a world where people often only want to show the good.

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    6 person found this review helpful

    6 people found this review helpful

    6 of 6 people found this review helpful

  • Not always an easy read but uplifting in the end

    Honest and despite being frustrated at times with the main character, I was happy for her getting her life back.

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    0 person found this review helpful

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  • Great Read for anyone caught in a narcissist web !

    Saddened to read some of the other reviews, unless one has been caught in the insidiousness of being in a relationship with a narcissist, I am aware it is difficult to be compassionate. It was like reading my own life story, and found great assistance to taking off my own blinders and being honest with myself about so many things in my past marriage I tried & still try at times to deny. I was told once many years ago to take off my rose colored glasses, but even after 50 years there are times I still have to shake my head to wake up, being a caring empath, still unbelieving that some people can really be like that. It really is "crazy" making to be caught up in a narcissist's web. Great Story spoken truthfully. Thank You.

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  • A Lesson and a good read in learning it.

    A very good read. Well written regarding situations many find themselves locked into. Food for thought put into a book that is very well worth reading.

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  • Husband Bashing Deluxe

    I received this book courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, She Writes Press. This book is written as a memoir by the author. It begins with a scene where Charles, the author’s spouse, apparently does something to an unwanted cat. It takes much of the book to find what happened to the cat and understand Charles’s anger. The author starts her story with meeting the love of her life and marriage. However, Charles’s relationship with his parents is rather estranged: “I really cannot tolerate being around them for too long.” He was “disdainful of his parents, mostly his mother.” “If my parents got into a fiery crash when they were coming to visit us, then we’d get my inheritance sooner…” This makes the reader what kind of person Charles is. Little nuggets of Charles’s issues are dropped early in the book; for example, as a three year old child, he put a kitten down the sewer and never followed up on it. Ms. Pomerantz speaks to the sacrifices she made through the courtship participating in Charles’s interests and foregoing opportunities for herself. After they are married, there were problems with pregnancies. She “desperately wanted a family that I was willing to take all of the responsibility for our fertility problems.” They go through fertility treatments, adopt a daughter, Elisabeth Ann, and are able to have a biological son, Samuel Ian. When Ms. Pomerantz fights cancer including stem cell transplant, Charles is unsupportive and doesn’t come to medical appointments or the hospital. He “would never think of canceling patients” to be supportive and help her through the cancer treatments. “He had no clue about love or compassion; it was as if there was nothing inside him. He was an empty shell.” She makes it through the cancer treatments but the marriage is in shambles. “He is so controlling…” and “…always had to be right.” Charles had an extramarital relationship with a patient. He was constantly conniving and belittling Ms. Pomerantz. While I understand the bitterness Ms. Pomerantz felt without her husband’s love and support during a major health crises and the infidelity, the book began to feel like a major husband bashing. “He was so envious of the support I got from my friends…” The book is riddled with her negative emotions and trials with life. When the positive points were raised early in the book, there was foreshadowing of what was to come with Charles. It repeated the bad husband drudgery. At a certain point, it felt like more and more of the same. Ms. Pomerantz makes her point of view about Charles very clear. “I also have a much deeper understanding of what it means to be in a relationship with a narcissist, with someone for whom I could have been anyone, as long as I met his needs.” One has to wonder what the other side of the story may be. After all, there are two sides to every story.

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    1 person found this review helpful

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