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Ratings and Book Reviews (7 156 star ratings
7 reviews
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4.3 out of 5
156
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  • 1 person found this review helpful

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    FIVE 'LET ME HELP YOU' STARS!!

    "Somewhere along the way, I woke up completely lost and overwhelmed. And every day, it gets harder and harder to deal." This is novella in River Savage's Knights Rebels MC series is about Phoenix 'Nix' Knight, his wife, Kadence, and their experience following the birth of their daughter, Harlow. Nix and Kadence were THAT couple, they deeply loved each other, they were clearly in lust with each other and they were totally in sync with one another, two halves of one soul. It was a beautiful relationship to watch unfold, and to this day, their story as told in the first book of this series, Incandescent, is one of my favorites. But, as happens more often than is talked about, following the birth of their daughter, Kadence's first child, she suffers from extreme postpartum depression. Nix, in his quest to reclaim the wife he so desperately misses, battles a force he doesn't understand, emotions he's unsure how to navigate and a surprising blow to his confidence in himself as a husband. Kadence is lost in a sea of hopelessness and self loathing, in a constant battle with herself over her perceived failures as a mother. The fact that she is not failing at anything, that what she is feeling is fueled by the hormones that feed her depression, is completely lost on her. She cannot find her way out of the darkness that consumes her entirely. Nix, so strong and a true alpha man to his core, is desperate to drag his wife back into the light. He is hurt, he is lonely, he is scared and he misses his wife. He is worried, and he does not like the shell of a woman she has become. He questions himself, and his confidence falters. He finally emotionally pushes Kadence hard to talk to him, and with his proverbial hand extended, he begs her to reach for it, and thankfully, blessedly, she does. She finally shares her pain with Nix, the thoughts, doubts and self-recriminations that cloud her mind stealing her confidence and causing her to question her judgment. It is the first step in a very long road to recovery. "I'm not doing good, Nix." Nix did not react with anger or disappointment; no, he held his wife and got her help. He was a pillar of strength and consistency, and his love saw her through those many, many months to the other side. He did this for her even as he was dealing with the repercussions of her emotions and the toll they took on him. Oh yes, Ms. Savage did not spare one single truth in what is the reality of the situation for a family with a new baby dealing with the mother's PPD. She hit it dead-center, raw and spot-on, and this story was amazing in it's accuracy, excruciating in it's pain, and finally brilliant in it's recovery. This was such a heartbreakingly beautiful story. There is so much truth and reality in Kadence's experience, that I openly wept and sobbed loudly, shaking, as I read the first four chapters. This is no light and easy read, it is rooted firmly in real-life. This issue is one of the swept under the rug secrets of motherhood that no one talks about out of shame and fear, and Ms. Savage picked up that rug and shook it hard. The real beauty of this story is in Kadence summoning the courage to let Nix in to her thoughts, fears and shame, sharing with him what she's feeling and what is going on in her head. As someone who suffered from the very same severe and debilitating PPD for an extended period of time like Kadence did, I can tell you that what this character went through was her reality, and I know this because I felt those same things. Ms. Savage captured this issue from the first person and spouse's perspectives so precisely and vividly. I cannot stress how well written, detailed and realistic a story Ms. Savage has given us. It hurt to read, but in true River Savage form, she healed us in the end with the blinding beauty of Nix and Kadence's love for each other. Thank you, River, for giving this topic a voice. Thank you for doing it so eloquently and carefully. Thank you for staying true to yourself, your fans, the Knights Rebels and Nix and Kadence in the process. This is a gorgeous, gut wrenching true love story as could only be told through the voice that is the immensely talented River Savage. Well done, River, well done.
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    Making it through the fire...

    Wow. Where do I begin? This book broke me down to the point of hiding in the restroom at work crying, only to bring me back up to laughing out loud by the end. River Savage deals with the sensitive topic of postpartum depression with painful honesty and shows us what is like for everyone involved. It hurt not only Kadence, but Nix and Z, the club brothers, Holly and their families. Everyone's love and support of both Nix and Kadence are what help them pull through this. Without his own strong support system Nix could've easily given up and went elsewhere for the attention he was lacking at home, or found ways to numb himself to the pain he was feeling inside. But he didn't. In typical Nix fashion he was the knight in shining armor and fought the battles to reclaim his wife back. It didn't happen overnight, but they're committed to their family and one another and their relationship is only going to be better after going through so much turmoil. Everyone needs a husband like Nix. I can only hope that other woman who deal with this illness have the love of such a terrific man beside them. The range and depth of emotions this book made me feel is a testament to the gifted writing ability of River Savage. She made me feel like I was a part of the family. I hurt for them, I loved them, I hoped for them and finally I laughed with them.
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    F**cking HOT

    Started off slowly, then picked up and roared to a close. So spellbinding, I stayed up reading till close to 5 am!
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    Loved it!

    Unfortunately I read it in the wrong order. Going from book 1-4 then to this one so I had spoiled key points but I still loved it.
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    Reclaimed

    This book is one of the first books that deal with this subject matter, that actually gets it right. I too suffered from post natal depression. When Kadence mentioned the word numb, its exactly that... numb. My first pregnancy was planned and very much wanted, then baby came along bringing a ripped up body & screwed up hormones with him and I didn't handle it well. I couldn't understand why I didn't fall in love with my baby, like it'd heard so many people say. "Why can't I love him", "I'm such a failure"... Not wanting others to know the reality of my feelings and thoughts kept it all bottling up until it all boiled up.... I'm lucky that my husband stuck with me and 28 years later we're still strong! Love isn't a fight, but something worth fighting for! The best quote I've ever heard in my life! Thank you River for writing this novella.
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