The PERFECT GIFT for your long-suffering wife or prospective bride. Or, for any fool of a husband or seriously deluded groom-to-be who hasn't yet understood what he's signed up for.--------------------Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life.Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs.

THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who likes a glass of red. And a double gin. And a vodka shot. And a flaming tequila. And a candy floss caipirinha . . . and a small Bahama Mama.__________________________________'A good hangover should be a total mystery to you. How did this happen? Why do you feel so ill?Pretend to yourself that you drank less than you did. Insist you stuck to beer, forgetting the champagne at the start of the evening and the round of jal...

The PERFECT GIFT for Mum would be to let her take the day off while you do everything for her. Why not get her this book instead?----------------This is mum.A mum has two very important jobs to do. One is to look after her children.The other is to do everything else as well.----------------Now Lyndsay's little boy is at nursery, she is l...

THE PERFECT GIFT for those who value elegance, affection, cold hearted killing and expensive, clawed to death furniture.__________________________________'A pet can be great fun.Cats are warm and fluffy, like cuddly toys, and their owners give them lots of time and affection.And, just like cuddly toys, they do very little in return.'__________________________________'Over thousands of years, we have developed a special relation...

Learn all about the different kinds of meetings - brainstorms, catch-ups, face-to-face, virtual, unattended - and how to avoid them completely . . .'People at work spend a lot of the day in meetings.Meetings are important because they give everyone a chance to talk about work.Which is easier than doing it.'__________'Rudd attends meetings remotely from his home office.He has three telephones, two Swiss desk in...

The British Lawnmower Museum, Keith Harding's World of Mechanical Music and Mad Jack's Sugar Loaf. In a world of theme parks, interactive exhibits, over-priced merchandise and queues, don't worry, these are names to stir the soul. Reassuring evidence that there's still somewhere to turn in search of the small, fascinating, unique and, dammit, British.In a stumbling journey across the country in search of the best we have to offer our intrepid heroes discovered dinosaurs in South Lo...

THE PERFECT FATHER'S DAY GIFT for those obsessed with the World Cup.__________________________________'If Ben were only happy when his favourite team did well, he would not be happy very often.Instead Ben is happy whenever a team he hates does badly.There are lots and lots of those.'__________________________________'BBC Radio 5 Live has cut away from coverage of the worst mainland terrorist at...

Too little or too much company can be stressful. By discovering all about Mindfulness, you can get away from it all by hiding out in the comfort of your own head . . .'Valentine became a Buddhist because he was interested in dharma.Dharma is a word for cosmic law and order.Valentine is sad. He thought dharma was a type of curry.'__________'Alison has been staring at this beautiful tree for five hours.She was m...

The essential guide for those looking to reinvent themselves starting next week, next month or next year . . .Stella spent £190 on make-up designed to achieve that 'no make-up ' look.She had a promo code for the website, so has saved herself £10 on looking as though she has spent nothing.__________Duncan has spent the last two years since separating from his ex-wife working out.He tweets a selfie from the gym every da...

As we prepare to wave the President out of the White House, commemorate the past four years with this charming introduction to his very important life and his many, many friends - the perfect stocking filler this Christmas._________'When Donald won the election, he did not believe it."This election was a bad, unfair election," said Donald, about the election that he won.One day, Donald might lose an election. He will not like that election at...

The PERFECT GIFT for that superhero, saint, figure of worship or, if none of those apply your plain dear old dad.'Shawn has set up his own firework display in the garden."Those big displays are rubbish," he tells his son. "You can't see a thing."When Shawn's son has seen the firework, they will go back indoors.Fireworks are more expensi...

THE PERFECT GIFT for anyone who spends Christmas Day counting the minutes until the Boxing Day sales start.__________________________________'There are two important days at Christmas.There is Christmas Day, when everyone is jolly and hungry and very pleased to see each other.And there is Boxing Day'__________________________________'Jonathan and Oriane have gone for a Boxing Day walk with Transformers the dog.Walking i...