In this moving guide, a gay man shares his personal journey of letting go of shame and moving forward with self-compassion and healing.**"A touchstone in gay culture." —**Observer**"The clearest, most succinct delineation of the origins and consequences of internalized homophobia, and how to address them." —**ArtvoiceEven though an entire generation of men have openly and freely come out of the clo...

The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out,” but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger—a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own jo...