I Just Want to Be Perfect is the fourth book in the bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. It brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.The cult of perfection is a thing. As women, we are constantly inundated with "helpful" and/or "ah-may-zing" tips to improve our looks, please our men, raise the next Einstein (in a wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free environment), and feng shui the ...

Don't miss the 3rd book in this bestselling series!Motherhood is STILL the toughest – and STILL the funniest – job you'll ever love. We know that raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – TGIF means nothing to a mother!You said it before and you're saying it again, “I STILL just want to pee alone!”I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is ANOTHER collection of hilarious and heartwarming essays from 40 MORE of the ...

"Crass, inappropriate, and absolutely hysterical. In other words, absolutely everything you could want in a parenting book and more." —Jill Smokler, New York Times–bestselling authorFollowing the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog....

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap.Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It...

The moment the second line on the pee stick turns pink, women discover they've entered a world of parenting experts.Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy -- suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn't, not to mention hordes of militant "lactivists," cosleeping advocates, and books on what t...

“An entertaining rant…The only thing missing is the sound of a drumroll and cymbals to feel as though one is sitting in a nightclub watching a live comedy marathon…A raucous, biting look at life.”—Kirkus Reviews“Nobody, but nobody, can hate like Joan Rivers. It is a gift. It is also shocking, the things she makes us laugh at…Joan Rivers is extraordinary, but she's not for the easily offended—or for anyone who gets offended at all.”—People

Three hilarious books in one from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author on marriage, motherhood, and the absurdities of suburban life.If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck's timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life.Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart.The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck's take on th...

The popular blogger and New York Times bestselling author of Yarn Harlot puts her humorous spin on everyday life, parenting, and, well, pants.The Amazing Thing About the Way It Goes takes on the amazing in the ordinary in this side-splitting series of short commentaries. Pearl-McPhee turns her trademark wit and perspective to everything from creative discipline to a way you would never think about fixing your email situation. This book loo...

During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom,* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on—to the next generation, the generation after that, and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.In brilliant, brand-new, never-before-published pieces, Dave passes on home truths to his new grandson and to his daughter Sophie, who will be getting her learner’s permit in 2015 (“So ...

In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon Rich finds humor in some very surprising places. Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives. The world, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with endless comic potential.–If your girlfriend gives you some “love coupons” and then breaks up with you, are the coupons still valid?–What kind of performance pressure does an en...

#1 New York Times bestseller: A hilarious look at one of the toughest jobs on earth, by a writer "with the comic equivalent of perfect pitch" ( The Boston Globe).Anyone who thinks motherhood is easy has never had children. To care for children, a husband, and oneself is a superhuman task, and any woman who appears to be expert at doing all three simultaneously is not Supermom—she's a good actress.For three decades, Erma Bo...

The THIRD collection of Singles from the New York Times best selling humorist, Jen Mann. This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else.Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take.Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays:HEY DICK, WOULD Y...