I Just Want to Be Perfect is the fourth book in the bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. It brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.The cult of perfection is a thing. As women, we are constantly inundated with "helpful" and/or "ah-may-zing" tips to improve our looks, please our men, raise the next Einstein (in a wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free environment), and feng shui the ...

Now a New York Times BESTSELLER.Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand.Hasn't every mother said it before? "I just want to pee alone!"I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the...

Now that I 'm a mom, I know the most painful part isn't getting something giant through your hooha. It's having a real live child.If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo's organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino's pizza on speed dial, do not read this book....

But Did You Die? Is the fifth hilarious installment in the New York Times bestselling I Just Want to Pee Alone series. But Did You Die? is a collection of terrible (but also kind of good) parenting advice from some of the funniest moms and dads on the 'net. And that one super helpful childless friend we all have who loves to tell us we're parenting wrong. Put your kids in front of the TV and let them eat junk while you read this book and laugh your tail off. We set the bar low so you can f...

"Crass, inappropriate, and absolutely hysterical. In other words, absolutely everything you could want in a parenting book and more." —Jill Smokler, New York Times–bestselling authorFollowing the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog....

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the ThroatPeople I want to punch in the throat:• anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer• humblebraggers• people who treat their pets like childrenJen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble ...

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap.Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It...

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER“I’ve changed a bit since high school. Back then I said no to using and selling drugs. I washed on a normal basis and still had good credit.”Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends—and that’s before she even puts on a bra.For the past ten years, Notaro has...

“An entertaining rant…The only thing missing is the sound of a drumroll and cymbals to feel as though one is sitting in a nightclub watching a live comedy marathon…A raucous, biting look at life.”—Kirkus Reviews“Nobody, but nobody, can hate like Joan Rivers. It is a gift. It is also shocking, the things she makes us laugh at…Joan Rivers is extraordinary, but she's not for the easily offended—or for anyone who gets offended at all.”—People

**THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERNew mothers and fathers will find much-needed relief and insight in this perceptive and outrageously funny account of what it truly means when you bring home your very own bundle of joy...**Jenny McCarthy’s hilarious, no-holds-barred personality has made her an instantly recognizable TV personality and a bestselling author. In Baby Laughs she examines the full range of challenges that new mothers anf fathers face, including:

Three hilarious books in one from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author on marriage, motherhood, and the absurdities of suburban life.If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck's timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life.Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart.The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck's take on th...

“This is so well written. [When a book like this] comes along, it’s, like, ‘Thank you!’ What a great way to spend an afternoon, an evening, reading these essays. . . . Absolutely great.”—Jon Stewart“[Merrill] Markoe is easily as funny as David Sedaris. She’s capable of manic riffs and acerbic skewering. Still, her good nature shines through.”—The Washington PostIn this hilarious collection of candid essays, including two pieces new...