Nobody wants to be a loser. With this revolutionary new handbook, readers will learn how to win at literally everything*—even things that aren't contests, and that you can't or shouldn't try to win at, such as dreaming, apologizing, and talking on the phone with your mom. Crucial illustrated advice and instruction guides would-be winners through activities including bird-watching (start by spotting common species like pigeons, or dogs), job interviews (maintain eye contact: very smart peop...

Do less—enjoy more. Discover the joys of mediocrity with this lighthearted, life-changing call to inaction.Lower the bar. Turn it down a notch. Get off the Stairmaster. Back away slowly from the to-do list. The Underachiever's Manifesto is the playfully persuasive guide to living life to the least and loving it.With sharp humor and genuine wisdom, this welcome little book extols the fabulous benefits of underachievement in our overextended society. A...

There’s no such thing as too much redneck. And it’s easy to understand why. A veritable gumbo of indigenous ingenuity, this deliciously distinct dialect rolls off the tongue like drool in the presence of a barbecue sandwich. Now, just in time for no time in particular, Jeff Foxworthy’s three bestsellers are rolled into one hilarious redneck reference. This practical, portable A-to-Z crash course will have you laughing and learning your way to flawless southern slang. Say after me:b...

The essential wit and wisdom of President Trump: a compendium of things an actual US president actually said out loud to other people.President Donald J. Trump possesses a great sense of history and himself. A model statesman, he tweets every thought, and more. With one exception, he doesn't suffer fools lightly. This little red book attempts to capture the great man's philosophy on governance, democracy, terrorism, and his hair.The President's words are pr...

"Who Cut The Cheese?" is the updated 2011 edition of the razor-sharp parody dedicated to the millions of readers who either enjoyed or suffered through the motivational bestseller "Who Moved My Cheese?(tm)" "Who Cut the Cheese?" is a parable in which four characters must find a way through a maze in their hunt for "Cheese." But this cheese is actually symbolic of the things that we all want out of life: success and self-confidence, a nice house, a loving marital relationship, perfect child...

Pointless conversations: a selection of daft, ridiculous and utterly pointless meanderings from the mind of Scott Tierney. If you’ve ever wanted to know the answers to why Superman is a coward; why Spiderman should technically be deformed; and if Superdog caused the death of Krypton, then these bite-sized comics will reveal all. The discussions may be insane, and most of what is said is rambling, but despite this, you may find yourself agreeing with most of what is said. It’s a fair point:...

One of Canada's greatest inventors appraises his peers, with mixed results.The author of How to Do Everything and Red Green's Beginner's Guide to Women has never been afraid to take on jobs doomed to failure. This latest project is perhaps the nearest he has come to a triumph. In The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Guide to Canadian Inventions Red surveys, analyzes, critiques and in some cases tells you how to recreate at home the best Canadian inv...

THE STRANGEST (AND FUNNIEST) TRAVEL GUIDE YOU’LL EVER READThe celebrated authors of the perennial bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said set the typical travel guide squarely on its head–taking you from the airport to the hotel, from sightseeing to dining out–by using 100 percent real examples of fractured English as spoken and posted abroad:• Feel like shopping?We have no good things to sell.–shop sign, Lovina Beach, Bali...

Congratulations - your application for a Mesozoic hunting licence has been successful!Before you travel back in time and charge headlong into a pack of prehistoric big game, we strongly advise that you read the following guidebook. It will provide you with information crucial to success – and survival! You will learn the basic facts of the geography, climate and environmental conditions of the three periods that make up the exciting Mesozoic era.The book th...

You've heard about the latest studies and you've read the conflicting reports. You were right to be suspicious-the strange reality is that everything is bad for you.Everything from carpets to camping to water to Norman, Oklahoma, endangers your health, your sense of well-being and ultimately, your sanity. Discover the disturbingly amusing truth: sunscreen is bad for you whether you use it or not-and so is everything else!

A masterwork of literary parody about a suburban Samaritan and the poet he seeks to inspireAfter the wild adventures of Comfort Me with Apples, Chick Swallow has found domestic peace in Decency, Connecticut, accepting his fate as a middle-class husband and father and the author of an advice column in the local newspaper. His hard-won contentment is about to disappear like warm water down a bathtub drain, however, when fate intervenes to reunite our hero wit...

The authors are former paralegals, ABA accredited law school graduates, and practicing attorneys confounded by the way that the legal system works and trapped by massive debt. Though neither of us is horribly dissatisfied with the way our careers turned out, we would like to impart satirical wisdom for those coming up the ranks today, to tell those folks what we wish we would have been told. (And tell some things again and again, so the law school prospect can remove her rose colored glass...