Hi. I am Brandon Thighmaster. Monk. Hero. Inspiration. I enjoy crunching, squats, looking at myself, looking at other people looking at myself, and long walks on the beach. I also do adventures and stuff, and I guess you can read about them here. But enough about you, let's talk about me. Brandon Thighmaster.

Silent But Deadly Hill: Jonathon Mason is going on a road trip with his dad. When their car veers out of control, Jonathon awakes alone in a cloud of fog. Can he find his drunk dad and escape Slewant Hill?G.I.R.L 2: Rob(erta) Hardlick and her sidekick Mich find themselves locked within a video game universe. To make matters worse, they may not be the only survivors from the last game to have made it over to this new one.Secret of the Old Cock: Whe...

"Stranger's Thing" by Robert Bevan: Four friends get more than they bargained for when they break into a seemingly abandoned research lab."Jizz World" by Rick Gualtieri: Zach Johnson was an idiot. So, when given the chance to wish for anything the universe had to offer, only one thing came to mind: he wanted his life to be just like a porno."The Shingling" by Steve Wetherell: Johnny Terry, a recovering meth addict, is excited to start his new life as the caretaker at the Un...

The Mummy's Curse: Shania's dreams are put on hold when her teacher awakens an ancient evil. Does she have what it takes to break the Mummy's Curse?Valley of the Sex Dolls: Peggy wished her dad dated an actual human woman and not one of the creepy sex dolls that are appearing all over town. But Peggy's domestic problems might be the least of her worries as the patented Real Companions begin to get a little too real.The Wing: One fateful day, a bag...

Wax On, Whacks OffNobody likes getting bullied, and Donny has had enough. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he solicits the help of the old Asian man at the end of his street to teach him Karate. During a grueling two days of training, Donny earns belt after belt, until he finally becomes a Karate Master.But there is more to those belts than there seems. Cursed with ancient dark magic, they have a mind of their own. Will Donny be able to stand up...

Tantor Audio presents six must-listen stories from the horror comedy series Shingles.Shingles Audio Collection Volume 2 begins with "Terror on Hypo Beach," in which a family vacation turns out to be anything but ordinary. In "Put Your Hand in My Ass," Will needs a mentor for the upcoming high school talent show. What he gets is Sloppy—an enchanted puppet with weird sexual proclivities and an extremely problematic approach to comedy.The collection c...

Shingles Audio Collection Volume 4 begins with "Carnival of Psychos." In this story, Richie Spoonerman finds himself being chased by a psychotic clown in the Maze of Mirrors at the carnival. In "That Time of the Month," Molly Stein's life was hard enough before she started noticing some weird changes. For one, a suspicious number of people seem to be exploding around her.In "The Sober Slayers," Katie McCallister wants to slay dragons, save the kingdom, and become a hero, b...

Luckily for humanity, scientist Marie Curie applied her brilliant mind and indomitable spirit to expanding the frontiers of science, but what if she had instead drifted toward the darkness?At the cusp of between child- and adulthood, at the crossroads between science and superstition, a teen Marie Curie faces the factual and the fantastic in this fabulous collection of stories that inspire, delight, and ask the question: What if she had used her talents for diaboli...

Tantor Audio presents six must-listen stories from the horror comedy series Shingles.The collection begins with "The Ghost of Hooker Alley," which introduces listeners to ten-year-old Sarah and six-year-old Tommy. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, Sarah and Tommy think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley . . ."The Monkey's Penis" features Chris...

Fans of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Good Omens - your wait is over!The next ridiculous sci-fi fantasy series from a snarky British guy is here!And now you can experience the complete Doomsayer Journeys Trilogy in one volume!The Last Volunteer - The fate of the world lies with one man: Bip Plunkerton. Talentless psyentist and frequent drinker at The Empty Goat, young Bip Plunkerton will follow in his...