When the finger of fate points ... duck!*Meet The Pan of Hamgee: coward, unwilling adventurer and, by some miracle, K’Barth’s longest surviving outlaw. He just wants a quiet life so working as getaway driver is probably a bad career move. Then he falls in love at first sight with a woman he hasn't even met who comes from an alternative reality. That’s when things really begin to get complicated.Meet Ruth Cochrane: she’s the Chosen One, destined to play a pi...

If you asked Andi Turbot whether she had anything in common with Flash Gordon she’d say no, emphatically. Saving the world is for dynamic, go-ahead, leaders of men and while it would be nice to see a woman getting involved for a change, she believes she could be the least well equipped being in her galaxy for the job.Then her best friend, Eric, reveals that he is an extraterrestrial. He’s not just any ET either. He’s Gamalian: seven-foot, lobster-shaped and covered in Marmite-scent...

Destiny called ... the wrong man answered.When your very existence is treason, employment opportunities are thin on the ground. But when one of the biggest crime lords in the city makes The Pan of Hamgee a job offer he can’t refuse, it’s hard to tell what the dumbest move is: accepting the offer or saying no to Big Merv. Neither will do much for The Pan’s life expectancy.Small Beginnings is written in British English and can be read as a stand alon...

When the finger of destiny points ... duck!The Pan of Hamgee, starving outlaw, bumps into Big Merv; the meanest, scariest gangster in the City and without thinking what he is doing, steals his wallet. When Big Merv realises what has happened our hero's future looks short. Will he talk his way out of it or will he be 'recycled' into a stanchion of the Outer Ring Road extension.U certificate. 4,000 words.Written in British English.Thi...

When destiny calls pretend to be out ...All The Pan of Hamgee wants is a quiet life.So why did he have to fall in love with a woman living a different version of reality, upset a murderous tyrant and then run out of places to hide?Now all he has to do is face his inner demons, rescue everything he holds dear and save the world, or die trying.*Oh yes, and he's an abject coward.Great. No pressure then.*

When destiny calls ... be out.The Pan of Hamgee needs answers, although he’s not even sure he knows the questions.He has a chance to go straight but it’s been so long that he’s almost forgotten how. Despite a death warrant over his head he is released, given a state-sponsored business, and a year’s amnesty for all misdemeanours while he adjusts. On the down side, Ruth has thrown in her lot with his nemesis, Lord Vernon.The Pan ...

When destiny calls, be out.The Pan of Hamgee is not a natural knight in shining armour. Yet he has escaped from police custody in K’Barth, switched realities and foiled Lord Vernon’s attempt to kidnap Ruth, the Chosen One, from the Festival Hall. Pretty good, he thinks.However, Ruth thinks otherwise. Being pursued by Lord Vernon is bad enough. Now, thanks to The Pan, she’s on the run. They are both alive, of course, but with Lord Vernon on thei...

When trouble comes knocking meet the one man dumb enough to answer the door ...It’s midwinter and preparations for the biggest religious festival in the K’Barthan year are in full swing. Yes, even though, officially, religious activity has been banned, no-one’s going to ignore Arnold, The Prophet’s Birthday, especially not Big Merv. He orders The Pan of Hamgee to deliver the traditional Prophet’s Birthday gift to his accountants and lawyers. As usual, The Pan h...

A man called by Destiny. The wrong man.The Pan of Hamgee doesn’t believe in miracles but if he’s going to save K’Barth it looks as if he might need one.He's not quite as alone as he thought. The punters from The Parrot and Screwdriver are right behind him and he has rescued three of his friends from the Grongolian Security Forces, who are now of course, three of the nation's most wanted, which doesn't make life easy. He even has something of a ...

Terry Pratchett meets Dr Who ... sort of.As recently appointed delivery man for Big Merv, one of Ning Dang Po's most powerful crime bosses, The Pan of Hamgee is ordered to deliver a gift to Big Merv's current girlfriend. With a pair of bespoke-made, sapphire and diamond earrings on board, and a trip across the city in the offing, what could possibly go wrong? Everything.This book is written and spelled in Britsh English, suggested cinema rating PG....

When trouble comes knocking meet the one man dumb enough to answer the door.When The Pan of Hamgee encounters some mudlarkers trying to land a box on the banks of the River Dang he is happy to help. Having accepted a share of the contents as a reward he cannot believe his luck. It contains one of the most expensive delicacies available in K’Barth, Goojan spiced sausage. If he can sell it, the sausage might spell the end of his troubles. On the other hand, knowi...

All The Pan of Hamgee wants is to stay out of trouble ... problem is, he's rubbish at it.Since The Pan of Hamgee became a delivery man for Ning Dang Po’s premier gangster, Big Merv, he has learned a lot about when to run, where to hide and when to keep his head down. What with his very existence being treason, and the Grongle invaders tightening their grip on K’Barth, he counts surviving each day as a win.Marcella the Pirate, a small-time gangster, has star...