Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, airing the orchid-whatever you call it, none of the images in this book will encourage the gentle art of self-pleasure. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.

Rejected Books is a collection of forty hilariously unrealistic, totally cringe-worthy covers for books that will never, ever be published—from the authors of Images You Should Not Masturbate ToHave you ever had a great idea for a book but then thought, “Nobody would ever read that”? Well . . . you’re probably right. But you’re not alone! Enter Rejected Books, a rollicking collection of the best book covers for books that were never meant...

Mejor que tomar una ducha fría - y mucho más chistoso. Este libro lleno de fotos y humor cambiará tu forma de pensar, de sentir...de amar. Cómpralo ya antes de que las autoridades, y la iglesia, lo prohíban.

Like a yoga class you can hold in your hand, a beautiful, full-color guide to letting sh*t goOur world is filled with annoyances, and sometimes you need a little dose of humor to cope with the news cycle, your irritating co-worker, or that telemarketer who won’t stop calling. This refreshingly honest self-help book will guide you through a meditation to “breathe in strength, and breathe out bullsh*t.” An excellent gift for yourself or others, F*ck That is ...

TheDirty.com, a heavily trafficked online gossip sheet, was created by an entrepreneur by the name of Nik Richie--whose Iranian parents named him Hooman Karamian.Richie's appearances on programs like Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper 360, Nancy Grace, and 20/20 suddenly provided him with notoriety as the Internet's bad boy, whose site is employed by angry ex-mates (of both sexes) to post sordid and vengeful revelations online.TheDirty.com also pr...

A good date can be exhilarating: a shared joke, an improbable spark, long moments of gazing fondly into each other's eyes. Not so for the dating disasters featured in this collection of laugh-out-loud actual tweets about the most terrible evenings imaginable. From seriously unwelcome confessions, to dousing dates in wine, to bringing them back to creepy apartments to meet favorite stuffed animals, here are the funniest and most alarming reports from dating's front lines. Along the way, aut...

The world knows the amazing story of little Colton Burpo, who nearly died during an emergency appendectomy, and then, while in a coma, went to heaven. His father, Todd Burpo, went on to write Heaven Is for Real, which has sold over one million copies- deservedly so. Only a cynic would believe that an evangelical pastor with outstanding medical bills and a child who had heard 52,000 Bible stories might be tempted to do the following:Prompt the boy with leading questio...

This hilarious graduation keepsake exposes the not-always-awesome realities of becoming an adult in bitingly satirical verse.Congrats! Congrats!You've made it so far.You're an adult now,you're even allowedin a bar.But long before you'regoing to succeed,You'll eff shit up,100% guaranteed.This off-beat (and off-color) volume of illustrated comic verse offers an honest assessment of what's in store for thos...

In Her Defense, It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time...Although Anna Goldfarb is very tall, she can't seem to grow up. While her friends lead lives seemingly plucked out of the pages of an Ikea catalog, she is still trying to figure out where she’ll score this week’s beer money.Maturity used to be something she aspired to, but as a woman in her early thirties, it is finally time for her to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask herself, “Is adulthood really for me?”

A wickedly funny, full-color, illustrated sendup of the trendy lifestyle publication GOOP.What is Glop?Glop is a business and a website. But Glop is also a feeling. It's about picking the right expensive organic eye cream that will make you fit seamlessly into the top tiers of high society and sits next to Bono at a 42-course seitan tasting dinner held in a sex dungeon deep beneath the North Pole. Glop is about being cons...

Celebrities Poop is a page-for-page parody of a popular children's book about animals going to the potty. This book is suitable for e-Readers owned by folks with a good sense of humor.

WHEN DARKNESS FALLS… WHEN THE UNDEAD RISE WITH A HUNGER FOR BLOOD… WHEN THE HUNT IS ON—AND YOU ARE THE PREY… WILL YOU BE READY?In the inevitable event of a vampire attack, the average citizen will be forced to engage in vicious hand-to-hand combat. To avoid serious injury, disfigurement, or death by exsanguination, you need to know the proper combat strategies and techniques to ward off a stronger, faster, more agile undead opponent looking to drain the life from your body. Are you...