Donkeys. Pirates. Pizza.Symbiont Harry—rejected by his tribe, exiled from home, and braying at the stars—is imprisoned in the form of a donkey.Trapped on an interstellar livestock vessel, Harry dreams of being loved, or at least having a decent conversation.Space pirates capture the ship, hoping to score. What to do with a hold full of livestock? And what's with the wisecracking donkey?When a galactic animal contest promises a fortune, the t...

The Realm Online needs a hero. He'll have to grow up first.Billy's a friendless teen and child of divorce, but when he's playing The Realm Online? He's a legend. Not just a legend, but a god amongst men.Some say he's a no-skill hack, that he's nothing without the mysterious artifact weapon known across the lands as Banhammer. With a unique fighting style perfected over the course of beating the endgame content (twice), Bronan is above needing friends—or a g...

A Federation deserter.A ferocious cat alien.An android of limited intelligence.On the run and out of work, Federation Navy deserter Cass takes the first job she can get: to liberate the notorious pirate Redbeard from the prison on Aresh Five—which doubles as a tourist attraction for the rich and adventurous.Using a cover identity, Cass will have to infiltrate the prison with nothing but her wits, a master key disguised as a spork, and a furry,...

Do you like funny, fast-paced space opera featuring space pirates, surly artificial intelligences, dashing rogues, alien artifacts, and deadly surprises?You’ll love these three stories from the Starship Ass universe:Escape From Aresh Five: A daring prison break to liberate the notorious pirate, Redbeard. A spork is the key.The Overlord of Kepler-186f: The AI's mission? Terraform this rock into a habitable pl...

Solo mode is no longer an option.Billy doesn’t need friends, especially when playing The Realm Online. So long as he wields the legendary artifact weapon Banhammer, he has little need of parties.After his character is deleted for terms of service violations, he’s determined to rebuild his character in all its glory. Without help, of course…because parties are lame AF. But when an angry god nerfs his new character with a curse, he’ll have little choice but t...

Has an old hound finally lost his appetite for the hunt?Rhett Morgan is working off-books for the Department of Homeland Security. But his handler thinks he's slipping, suggesting that if he can't deliver on his contract, it may be time to hang 'em up.If only he had something to walk away to, he just might consider it, but the pay is good and the perks even better.Can Rhett deliver one more time or will he find a reason to abandon the hunt once ...

Harry may be ailing from his previous adventure, but he isn’t about to be left behind for his pirate friends’ most daring mission yet—to infiltrate the Federation naval flagship and prize away their secret weapon.Buy or BURRO today and continue the adventure in an expanding universe of possibility. (editor: And dogs. Don't forget the dogs.)★★★★★ 'I haven't laughed this hard all year'★★★★★ 'Starts out making me laugh and kept me laughing up to the end'...

For centuries, donkeys have been underrepresented in the space piracy trade. Harry's about to change that. But much like pirate Haven leader Tone E Robbins, he'll first need to confront a dark secret chapter from his past.Along the way, they'll be hunted by a Federation foe determined to wipe Haven out of existence, led by none other than the Beloved Leader himself, the Grand COG (that's short for Center-of-the-Galaxy).Will the United Federation of Mankind ...

This audiobook is auto-narrated.The Realm Online needs a hero. He'll have to grow up first.Billy's a friendless teen and child of divorce, but when he's playing The Realm Online? He's a legend. Not just a legend, but a god amongst men.Some say he's a no-skill hack, that he's nothing without the mysterious artifact weapon known across the lands as Banhammer. With a unique fighting style perfected over the course of beating ...

This audiobook is auto-narrated.Solo mode is no longer an option.Billy doesn’t need friends, especially when playing The Realm Online. So long as he wields the legendary artifact weapon Banhammer, he has little need of parties.After his character is deleted for terms of service violations, he’s determined to rebuild his character in all its glory. Without help, of course…because parties are lame AF. But when an angry god nerfs his ...

Has an old hound finally lost his appetite for the hunt?Rhett Morgan is working off-books for the Department of Homeland Security. But his handler thinks he's slipping, suggesting that if he can't deliver on his contract, it may be time to hang 'em up.

No one ever told us that baby-led weaning was a lie.We always vowed that we'd never be that family. The one with the five-year-old child suckling at the mom's boobs out in public. But, with two years to go, our little monster has vowed that she'll never give them up.It's time for Daddy to take drastic measures, or Mommy may never let me near those breasts again.Her face lit up with naked glee.Nothing, I mean nothing in this worl...