In which an insane and bitter cat schemes to save her beloved city by destroying it. When assigned to determine the cause of brewing tensions in the exclusive seaside city of Ruen, Oscar Teabag-Dooven discovers it’s on the brink of tearing itself apart. Things become complicated when it appears those responsible are in charge of running the place. Drawn into a scandalous plot of insanity and greed, Oscar befriends the Dervy, a young revolutionary, by throwing her off a cliff, and Horace, a...

Oscar Teabag-Dooven, former Velvet Paw of Asquith and occasional poet, is ready to leave the chaos behind. Having faced tendony beasts, collapsing palaces, poetic terrorists and exploding pastries, he’d much prefer foccussing on the opening night of his theatrical debut. Unfortunately, the world has other ideas.With monstrous, skinless creatures tearing across kingdoms and the sinister Ar’dath-Irr wielding dark magic like its going out of fashion, Oscar is again hailed as the hero ...

One Poet. Eighty Thousand Corpses. Infinite Regret.The villain’s a poet, the weapon is verse, and the whole world’s a stage.The Ar’dath-Irr’s final act is nearly complete — and the applause will be apocalyptic.Oscar Teabag-Dooven, once a Velvet Paw, is all that stands between a fractured universe and total obliteration.But Oscar wanted to be a poet, not a hero, not a destroyer, and certainly not the most loathed animal on the planet. After h...

In a world where cats and dogs act like people, absurdity reigns supreme.With Sinson Rascalion threatening to plunge society into darkness, Oscar Teabag-Dooven is once again thrown into the fray. After stumbling upon the arrogant bard The Dodosette and the beautiful cat Vaasi-Vee, the unlikely trio argue their way across the world to do something about it.With lots of begging, too much snow and a wake of shattered infrastructure increasingly synonymous with these books, the...

Reality is breaking, verse is to blame, and Oscar Teabag-Dooven is absolutely the wrong cat to fix it.Oscar never meant to get tangled in a plot involving forbidden vaults, exploding cafés and an ex-poet turned reality-warping megalomaniac. But here he is, paws-deep in syllables and sabotage, trying to stop a transformation that could obliterate everything.Joined by Tabby Miss Cakes, an insane librarian who punches everyone in the face, they become the most unlikely duo to ...

In which an insane and bitter cat schemes to save her beloved city by destroying it.When assigned to determine the cause of brewing tensions in the exclusive seaside city of Ruen, Oscar Teabag-Dooven discovers it’s on the brink of tearing itself apart. Things become complicated when it appears those responsible are in charge of running the place.Drawn into a scandalous plot of insanity and greed, Oscar befriends the Dervy, a young revolutionary, by throwing her off a cliff,...

The city of Liebe is gone and Oscar presumed dead. With Tabby Miss Cakes adrift in a crumbling realm of myth and memory, she is not sure what’s real anymore—or if anything ever was.When Oscar reappears, inexplicably alive, the two stumble into a bizarrely wholesome world where animals sand horses, kindness is weaponised and no one seems to notice the sky is falling.That’s because a poet is eating reality.The Ar’dath-Irr, a lunatic bard of monstrous power, is enslavi...

Follow a man barely deserving of the title as he flails through a turgid cesspit of human depravity, only to discover that he’s the one bunging up its U-bend. Wrongly Writing has even more psychiatrists, anaphylaxis and cringing social ineptitude than the first Wrong Book, and proves that while editors exist for a reason, the author clearly doesn’t.Similar to The Bible, in that Jesus is mentioned over twenty times, and entirely dissimilar to Médard Alard's 1922 masterpiece, "Est-ce...

Reality is breaking, verse is to blame, and Oscar Teabag-Dooven is absolutely the wrong cat to fix it.Oscar never meant to get tangled in a plot involving forbidden vaults, exploding cafés and an ex-poet turned reality-warping megalomaniac. But here he is, paws-deep in syllables and sabotage, trying to stop a transformation that could obliterate everything.Joined by Tabby Miss Cakes, an insane librarian who punches everyone in the face, they become the most unlikely duo to ...

What happens when the worst writer in the world inadvertently decimates the entire publishing industry? This, that's what.These are the middle bits of a book universally regarded as being distinctly saggy at both ends.

“Coleshanger people are pretty bad,” said Uncle Edward. “They won’t cross water after sunset. And they have to be in bed by midnight, otherwise they think that they'll be turned into baboons and apes. They also worship the flea.” Written in 1952, Coleshanger is a humorous, whimsical and charming recount of English village life in the early part of the last century, a tale waiting seventy years to be heard, but still very much the story of us today.

In which Oscar battles a misguided echelon of authoritative animals to save a beautiful city from certain destruction.