Management, career and life tips presented as basic, relevant, thoughtful and fun messages. Because most people have a verse, slogan, tidbit, motto or quote to live by, these can be used as personal mission statements. Hopefully, readers will think, laugh, pass them along, make a screensaver, tweet or put them in fancy frames next to the work mission statements they don't understand.

The New York Times bestselling, irreverently funny reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments by Penn?Jillette—atheist, skeptic, and the larger, louder half of the magic duo Penn?& Teller.In God, No!, Penn blends secular comedy, satire of the Ten Commandments, and personal memoir with sharp-witted flair.From performing on the Las Vegas strip, mingling with Siegfried?&?Roy, to fatherhood and ongoing debates with proselytizers of the Christian...

By the author of Attempting Normal and host of the podcast WTF with Marc Maron, The Jerusalem Syndrome isThe Gospel according to Maron: a spiritual memoir of your average hyperintelligent, ultraneurotic, superhip Jewish standup comedian and seeker.The Jerusalem Syndrome is a genuine psychological phenomenon that often strikes visitors to the Holy Land_the delusion that they are suddenly direct vessels for the voice of God. Marc Maron seems to have a distinctly Ame...

In a world filled with inspirational know-it-alls and quotable blowhards, only one figure is indifferent enough to tell the cranky truth: Grumpy Cat. Following the success of her New York Times bestselling debut, everyone's favorite disgruntled feline is back with this demotivational guide to everyday life, love, friendship, and more. Featuring many new photos of Grumpy Cat's famous frown and packed with uninspiring observations, The Grumpy Guide to Life will help anyone ...

At a whopping 600 absorbing pages, Uncle John pulled out all the stops to make the behemoth Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader the epitome of Throne Room entertainment.Happy birthday, Uncle John! This 20th anniversary edition proves that some things do get better with age. Since 1987, the Bathroom Readers’ Institute has led the movement to stand up for those who sit down and read in the bathroom (and everywhere else for that matter). Uncle Joh...

A pictorial tribute to the filthy, distasteful, gross, and painful moments of parenthood, and the children who make it all possible.Kids: they are the light of your life—and the enemy of all things fragile, intact, and clean. But why cry over spilt milk . . . or paint . . . or the entire contents of a full-size swimming pool? A testament to the messiness of childhood (and parenting), and a memorial to the household items that perished along the way, here are never-...

David Lubar has gathered his best magazine pieces from the past fifteen years, tossed in his most popular works from the early days of online humor, bundled up the comedy material from his national conference talks, and stuffed everything in one juicy volume.Here's what two of the funniest guys on the planet have to say:"In this sweeping collection, David Lubar turns his crafty eye to everything from home brewing to the Human Genome Project. His analysis -- as always -- is ...

**Straight from the library--the strange and bizarre, ready to be checked out!From a patron's missing wetsuit to the scent of crab cakes wafting through the stacks, I Work at a Public Library showcases the oddities that have come across Gina Sheridan's circulation desk.** Throughout these pages, she catalogs her encounters with local eccentrics as well as the questions that plague her, such as, "What is the standard length of eyebrow hairs?" Whether she's helping someone s...

"It's a dangerous business, going out your front door."In the age of men, one must face myriad challenges: epic quests, imminent danger, the evil gaze of Sauron... okay, so maybe not. But wouldn't life's day-to-day challenges be easier if one were to take a cue from the diminutive hobbit? With The Unofficial Hobbit Handbook as your guide, you'll be ready to brave the difficulties, discomforts, and occasional orcs you may encounter.• Become acquaint...

Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You're old.From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes an even less inspiring book for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker's most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marri...

Don't you wish you could always find the right words at just the right time to answer anyone who has upset you? You will find that reply in this book. It has over 750 insults from some of the wittiest, cleverest and smartest writers that have proved that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword.This book of insults has been collected from the well-known to the hardly ever heard of; from the famous to the anonymous, from newspapers and TV to long forgotten and folded magazines....

Most people think hotel employees are effortlessly cheerful, naturally helpful, and genuinely like their work.Most people are wrong.Find out what really goes on in the world of hospitality with this hilarious book full of funny and absurd stories, anecdotes told in dialogue, factoids, and hoax pop quizzes by two veteran concierges who paid their way while working at a combined 50 hotels in and around Times Square. They are very pleased to help you learn:· The Truth A...