A NOTE FROM THE AUTHORBonjour cher reader,Ever since European history began, we Brits have been happily engaged in our national pastime - annoying the French. And the past couple of years have shown that this annoying never stops. To give just three examples:After a mid-Atlantic collision between French and British nuclear submarines, France's Minister of Defence seemed to blame the accident on ... shrimps.When French political supe...

Englishman Paul West is living the Parisian dream, and doing his best not to annoy the French. But recently things have been going tr�s wrong:He's stuck in an apartment so small that he has to cut his baguettes in two to fit them in the kitchen.His research into authentic French cuisine is about to cause a national strike - and it could be all his fault.His Parisian business partner is determined to close their tea-room. And thinks that sexually harrassing his femal...

Published in the 200th Anniversary year of the Battle of Waterloo a witty look at how the French still think they won, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde.Two centuries after the Battle of Waterloo, the French are still in denial.If Napoleon lost on 18 June 1815 (and that's a big 'if'), then whoever rules the universe got it wrong. As soon as the cannons stopped firing, French historians b...

An urban antidote to A Year in Provence, Stephen Clarke's book is a laugh-out-loud account of a year in the life of an expat in Paris- for Francophiles and Francophobes alikeA YEAR IN THE MERDE is the almost-true account of the author's adventures as an expat in Paris. Based loosely on his own experiences and with names changed to "avoid embarrassment, possible legal action and to prevent the author's legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent sui...

THE POST-BREXIT EDITION - brand new chapters with extra EU chaos for Englishman Paul West.An Englishman, Paul West, goes to Brussels to work for a French MEP. There he gets an insider's view of what really goes on in the massive madhouse that is the EU Parliament. With the referendum on the horizon, things are even more hysterical than usual.When the Brexit result comes in, Paul has to make a decision. If he wants to work in Europe, should he apply for a Fr...

The entertaining biography of Edward VII and his playboy lifestyle, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde.Despite fierce opposition from his mother, Queen Victoria, Edward VII was always passionately in love with France.He had affairs with the most famous Parisian actresses, courtesans and can-can dancers. He spoke French more elegantly than English. He was the first ever guest to climb the ...

What if teleportation was really possible? Englishman Richie Fisher is about to find out ...Richie and his wife Clara have won a weekend in New York in a newspaper competition. While Clara is off blowing their spending money, Richie wanders aimlessly, chewing on a veggie-burger, ending up in a gift-shop where he finds himself standing in front of an instant transporter machine. It looks nothing like the open-plan teleporter on Captain Kirk's Starship Enterprise; in...

I think of my book as an unabridged bible tract. Approximately 40% of it is Scripture. Unlike the pocket "pray the Romans road" versions I tried to invest more explanation into those verses which point us to salvation. I give my printed book out to cult members that knock on my front door, co-workers and neighbors who are atheists or come from other religions, and others in my life who do not profess Christ as their Savior. Unlike the small Bible tracts, I also devoted a considerable part ...

Dorothea is God's lonely, young woman, wandering around war-torn medieval Bavaria, she hopes to make her mark on the world. On her travels, she stumbles upon a brewery and its guardians, a triumphirate of Irish monks and their Jewish serf. Despite the best efforts of history and the treachery of men to hold her back, will Dorothea succeed?

Published in the 200th Anniversary year of the Battle of Waterloo a witty look at how the French still think they won, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde.Two centuries after the Battle of Waterloo, the French are still in denial.If Napoleon lost on 18 June 1815 (and that's a big 'if'), then whoever rules the universe got it wrong. As soon as the cannons stopped firing, French historians b...

Hayden Keyes knows everything there is to know about knights and the legends of King Arthur. But that doesn't mean he has ever jousted on horseback, worn a suit of armor, or flown on the back of a dimension-traveling griffin.In fact, Hayden's life is pretty ordinary. Well, perhaps ordinary is up for debate. Hayden never met his real parents, though his foster ones are great. Sure, they have a bit of a hoarding problem and an irrational fear of Halloween costumes, but nobody's life ...

"Some really excellent one-liners and a great story." Ian Moore, author, Death & Croissants."This novel is hysterical!" Rebecca Leffler, writer and Creative Consultant on the Netflix TV series Emily in Paris,.By the author of A Year in the Merde and 1000 Years of Annoying the French.Englishman Paul West is living in Paris (where he arrived long before Emily, by the way) and he's gearing up for the 2024 Olympics.Paul accepts a job with a French group who are ...