An essential work for readers seeking compassionate, wise guidance about the powerful relationship between mothers and their sons and daughters.Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother—...

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws.When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-term well-being—for better or worse. What Do You Want From Me? takes a fresh look at the age-old probl...

Best Friends provides the missing link to understanding and recognizing the impact of some of the most important relationships in girls' and women's lives.Every woman remembers the sting of betrayal of a girlfriend, and every parent of a daughter has seen her come home from school in tears because a girl she thought was her best friend suddenly and inexplicably became her enemy. While boys hash out differences with fists and kicks, girls' societies are marked by se...

Terri Apter reveals how everyday judgments impact our relationships and how praise, blame, and shame shape our sense of self.Do you know that praise is essential to the growth of a healthy brain? That experiences of praise and blame affect how long we live? That the conscious and unconscious judgments we engage in every day began as a crucial survival technique? Do you think people shouldn’t be judgmental? But, how judgmental are you, and how does this impact your ...

A renowned social psychologist's clear-cut, thoughtful, and practical strategy for parents who want to promote self-confidence in their child.Raising confident, motivated, and caring children is a parent's greatest challenge. Drawing on her own extensive research on children and parents, Terri Apter has created a guide based on "emotional coaching"—learning to respond appropriately to a child's feelings—that helps parents raise children to solve problems, to be socially active and ...

"The author of Altered Loves . . . now turns her analytical eye toward middle-aged women. The result is both lively and revealing." --New York Times Book ReviewIn this groundbreaking and insightful study Terri Apter traces womens midlife course, drawing on detailed interviews with women in their forties and fifties. Apter finds that women experience a renewed sense of themselves and see the second half of life as an opportunity for psychological g...

The Teen Interpreter is a generous roadmap for enjoying the most challenging, and rewarding, parenting years.Once children hit adolescence, it seems as if overnight “I love you” becomes “leave me alone,” and any question from a parent can be dismissed with one word: “fine.” But while they may not show it, teenagers rely on their parents’ curiosity, delight, and connection to guide them through this period of exuberant growth as they navigate complex change...

Understand what your teenage daughter really means—and learn to use your arguments to strengthen your bond with her.Mothers and teenage daughters argue more than any other child-parent pair—on average every two-and-a-half days. These quarrels, Terri Apter shows, are attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters. A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother ...

“The best book on sisters, very important and beautifully written.”—Carol Gilligan, author of In a Different VoiceThis “substantial contribution to the literature on sibling relationships” (Library Journal) explores the intricacy, friction, and love in bonds between sisters. Relationships between women are often freighted with a rocky mix of emotions—devotion and disregard, affection and loathing, admiration and envy—leading to anguish and confusi...

"Parents and young adults alike should benefit from the advice in Apter's insightful book."—Washington PostWhat do young people at the threshold of adulthood really need and want? Why do so many responsible and motivated teenagers become young adults who are still dependent, financially and emotionally, on their parents? Why are many young people today so quick to leave childhood behind, but so slow to become adults? In this wise and compassionate book, Te...

Our obsession with praise and blame begins soon after birth. Totally dependent on others, rapidly we learn to value praise and to fear the consequences of blame. Despite outgrowing an infant's dependence, we continue to monitor others' judgments of us—and develop what relational psychologist Terri Apter calls a "judgment meter," which constantly scans people and our interactions with them, registering a positive or negative opinion.Apter reveals how interactions between parents and...

**‘**Grandparenting is a long-awaited, well-informed, personal and well-researched insight into what it means to be a grandparent... A wonderful book’ JULIA SAMUEL, author of Every Family Has a StoryThe birth of a grandchild is a cause for celebration. But when a child becomes a parent themselves, existing family structures are radically altered. Old tensions between parents and their adult children may come into ...