From Act I:*"I think you left these behind," I said, handing them to her. This happens all the time when women try to return bags they've used. Tampons, lipstick, coins, Tic Tacs, and condoms are the top treasures found."Greasy" let out a sigh as if I were the problem. "I really don't see what the problem is here. It's none of your business what I keep in my handbag."It is when my commission is at stake! I'm not your Designer Handbag Rental Service! My name is not Ba...

In 150 quick and witty entries, Freeman Hall captures every last detail of what makes every gay person flee the room in terror!There's nothing gay men hate more than bad home décor, cheap vodka, and men who take off their shirts but shouldn't (especially when those things happen all at once!). They believe they're unique, yet somehow they're all exactly the same, bitching about Prop 8 and lamenting the sad fact that Bradley Cooper is straight. A day withou...

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Greedy Grabbers, Privileged Pinchers, Shady Scammers, and More!Whether they’re swiping merchandise or conning cashiers, Nasty Ass Thieves (NATs) can be retail’s worst nightmare.Do they honestly think they can return merchandise they didn’t buy? Or muscle their way out of a private chat with Loss Prevention? Or short-change drawers every time they shop?Apparently they do - or there wouldn’t be these 36 hilarious-and-true stories from RetailHellUnderg...

Backstabbers and Slackers and Mismanagers, Oh My!On the battlefields of retail hell, sometimes your “allies” turn out to be your worst enemies . . .When managers can’t run their stores and when coworkers refuse to actually work, shifts in retail go from bad to hellish and fast. There’s no one to turn to when the customers get mean, and there’s no one in to play defense when patrons complain.In these 28 hilarious-but-true stories, RetailHellUndergrou...

There is no wrath like a Hellspawn scorned . . .They scream. They cry. And they’re worse then just miniature versions of their entitled, rude, and too-often crazy parents. They’re Hellspawn.These child terrors didn’t get their name for being cute. They have ransacked stores, turned on their parents, and tried to get employees fired. And the retail slaves that suffer their tantrums are tired of keeping quiet.In these 43 hilarious-and-true stories fro...

These Discount Rats want more than salesTo Discount Rats, the world should be free . . . and retail slaves are to blame when it isn’t.These crazy customers show up with purses full of coupons and intend to leave with enough swag to impress a thief. They’ll negotiate, scream, complain, and threaten - so long as the sale is in sight!These 33 hilarious-and-true stories of penny-pinchers and stingy shoppers are straight from the bloggers of RetailHellUn...

Bigger, Fancier, and more cutthorat than ever!When Freeman Hall left The Big Fancy to pursue his screenwriting dreams, he thought the horrors of working in a handbag department were finally over. But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hel...

In America's courtooms, the verdict is laughter.Sit back and enjoy a collection of verbatim exchanges from the halls of justice, where defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, collide to produce memorably insane comedy.The Court: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant, sir?Defendant: No, sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

It is the most natural of bodily functions. In some countries it is considered a social faux pas whilst in others it is regarded as a sign of gratitude.For most men, the very act brings a sense of self-worth whilst as a comedy tool it is virtually unrivalled. Yet the majority of women regard it with disgust and despise the fact that we men laugh at it (even though they do it just as much as we do).It is, of course, farting.In The Art of Fart, bestselling author and ...

Life as a roofer is hard work. Endless hours beneath a blazing sun, pounding rain, howling wind and even the occasional hurricane (you'd be surprised at the calls during a hurricane).But there are lots of laughs and moments of Zen if you spend time with Gennita's cast and crew. There is nothing like watching life through the eyes of a female roofer who writes romance books, a bunch of "crapenters," a grumpy Airborne Ranger Vietnam Vet, and a stucco man affectionately dubbed “the Br...

A collection of strange-but-true crime tales featuring cops, lawyers, and some very unusual suspects . . .The fact-finding folks at Bathroom Readers' Institute have rounded up the best cops-and-robber articles we've ever done, plus a rogues' gallery of new offenders. You'll read about dumb crooks and criminal masterminds, mafia henchmen and low-level goons, ancient warriors and Old West gunslingers, crazed cops and jovial judges, and even a few loony lawyers and cr...