You are an idiot.Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck!But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textb...

From the most-read humor site on the internet, Cracked.comYOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE…You're going to wish you never picked up this book.Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might wa...

You're going to wish you never picked up this book.Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.

From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature stimulates s...

**Winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize in PhysicsEver since Albert Einstein's general theory of relativity burst upon the world in 1915 some of the most brilliant minds of our century have sought to decipher the mysteries bequeathed by that theory, a legacy so unthinkable in some respects that even Einstein himself rejected them.**Which of these bizarre phenomena, if any, can really exist in our universe? Black holes, down which anything can fall but from which nothing can return...

In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes.Sixtry of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are...

From Jason Pargin, the New York Times bestselling author of the cult sensation John Dies at the End, comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider...

John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town--and the world--from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions.Now a Major Motion Picture."[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement."—Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tepSTOP.

New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin's nightmarishly hilarious John Dies at the End series is back to entertain all who dare enter.A massive, sticky pile of severed human limbs suddenly appears in the parking lot of a vacant department store in a desolate small town. A set of footprints is found trailing away in the snow, as if a single pair of bare feet had wandered off the pile. If this wasn’t puzzling enough, the cops soon find that no one see...

**John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post).Now, New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.**It's the story ...

“Another virtuoso blend of horror, action, and humor. . . . Fans will find this a worthy sequel.”—Publishers WeeklyIn this thrilling African American family saga, a blend of enthralling historical fiction and supernatural horror, Matt Ruff returns to the world of Lovecraft Country and explores the meaning of death, the hold of the past on the present, and the power of hope in the face of uncertainty.Summer, 1957. Atticus Turner and his father, Montrose, travel to North Caro...